When you find yourself craving a break from the bustling city life, the charming village of Bourton-on-the-Water might just be the perfect destination. Nestled within the rolling hills of the Cotswolds, this serene village is a true testament to the enduring tranquillity of rural England. As I set foot in this idyllic haven, I could feel my stress levels plummeting faster than the British Pound after Brexit.

Tourist Traps, Ahoy!

Despite its tranquillity, I quickly discovered that Bourton-on-the-Water is not devoid of the alluring scent of tourist money. Here, you will find the expected assortment of quaint tea rooms, age-old pubs and plenty of souvenir shops selling everything from Cotswolds lavender to postcards with jokes that were already outdated in the 18th century.One of the most popular attractions in Bourton-on-the-Water is the Model Village, a one-ninth scale replica of the village itself. It's quite a surreal experience wandering through a miniature version of the very place you're standing in. It's definitely worth the price of admission if you fancy feeling like a giant for a day.

A Meandering Mecca

The village's most defining feature, however, is the River Windrush, which meanders its way through the centre of town. The river's shallow and clear waters make for a picturesque scene, complete with low stone bridges and flocks of disgruntled ducks that are always a quack away from losing their patience with tourists.My advice? Be sure to pack a picnic and enjoy it on the grassy banks of the river. And if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you could even wade in the water to engage in a spot of duck diplomacy. Just remember to practice social distancing with the ducks, lest you end up in a feathery fracas.

Bourton-on-the-Water's Lesser-Known Pastimes

While the village may appear placid at first glance, beneath the surface lies a rich tapestry of thrilling activities.

Football in the River: If you're visiting in August, don't miss the annual Football in the River match. It's a delightful spectacle of mud, mayhem and a blatant disregard for health and safety regulations. Just remember to keep the ducks off the pitch, as they have no sporting allegiances and will sabotage the game at every opportunity.
St. Lawrence's Church: For those seeking a more spiritual experience, the historic St. Lawrence's Church offers a tranquil space for reflection and prayer. The church's stunning stained glass windows are an Instagrammer's dream, though I don't recommend trying to climb the bell tower for an aerial selfie.
Bourton-on-the-Water Brewery: If you're a fan of carefully crafted beer, pay a visit to the Bourton-on-the-Water Brewery. They offer tastings, tours and the chance to witness the ancient art of brewing. Just remember to drink responsibly - or at least have a designated driver. It's all fun and games until you're wading in the River Windrush and attempting to communicate with the ducks in their native tongue.

The Great Outdoors

For those looking to escape the confines of the village, the surrounding Cotswold countryside offers a plethora of delightful walks, hikes and cycling routes. With its rolling hills, lush meadows and golden stone cottages, the Cotswolds is an area of outstanding natural beauty. Just remember to bring appropriate footwear and a healthy dose of cynicism, lest you find yourself believing that you've stumbled into the pages of a fairy tale.One of my favourite treks was a leisurely stroll to the nearby village of Lower Slaughter, which, contrary to its name, was not a blood-soaked hellscape but rather another picturesque Cotswold hamlet. It's the perfect place to enjoy a well-earned pint at the local pub before meandering back to Bourton-on-the-Water.

A Toast to Tranquillity

So whether you prefer to wander through model villages, engage in river-based football shenanigans or simply soak up the pastoral beauty of the Cotswolds, Bourton-on-the-Water offers a veritable banquet of leisurely pursuits. And in this world of chaos and uncertainty, sometimes we all need a slice of tranquillity served with a side of scones and clotted cream. Cheers!

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